How Do I/We Tell The Children?

Frequently, my clients ask me for advice on the best way to tell their children that they are going to separate from their partner and that the separation is probably going to be permanent. Telling your children that you and their other parent can't live together anymore has got to be one of the most difficult tasks that you face once you have decided to leave the marriage/relationship. Despite the difficulty, telling the children about the upcoming separation in an appropriate way is a critical step toward helping them to cope effectively with this major life change. Ideally, you and your partner should both be a present for this conversation. However, if the two of you are concerned that you will be unable to resist the urge to blame each other or otherwise end up in an argument, it is better for each of you to speak with the children separately. Regardless of whether the two of you speak with the children jointly or separately, it is critical that you assure the children that they have done nothing to cause this separation and it is equally important that you resist the urge to blame the other parent for the separation. This link will take you a very helpful article which details Twelve tips for how to tell your children that you and your partner have decided to separate and divorce. The author of the article is Dr. Rafael Richmond, Ph.D.