How Do I/We Tell The Children?

Frequently, my clients ask me for advice on the best way to tell their children that they are going to separate from their partner and that the separation is probably going to be permanent. Telling your children that you and their other parent can't live together anymore has got to be one of the most difficult tasks that you face once you have decided to leave the marriage/relationship. Despite the difficulty, telling the children about the upcoming separation in an appropriate way is a critical step toward helping them to cope effectively with this major life change. Ideally, you and your partner should both be a present for this conversation. However, if the two of you are concerned that you will be unable to resist the urge to blame each other or otherwise end up in an argument, it is better for each of you to speak with the children separately. Regardless of whether the two of you speak with the children jointly or separately, it is critical that you assure the children that they have done nothing to cause this separation and it is equally important that you resist the urge to blame the other parent for the separation. This link will take you a very helpful article which details Twelve tips for how to tell your children that you and your partner have decided to separate and divorce. The author of the article is Dr. Rafael Richmond, Ph.D.

What is Famly Law and why do you need a Family Law Attorney?

Family Law is an area of law practice that includes, but is not limited to all of the following issues:

• Prenuptial Agreements
• Domestic Partnership Agreements
• Separation and Property Settlement Agreements
• Divorce
• Equitable Distribution of Property
• Adoptions
• Paternity Matters
• Legitimation of a child born outside of wedlock
• Child Custody and Visitation (including claims by Grandparents and certain other Third Parties)
• Child Support
• Spousal support.

A competent Family Attorney must be familiar with divorce tax issues, the effects of divorce on the ownership of real estate, the somewhat arcane and complex rules that govern the division of retirements assets, child development issues and what must be considered when determining the best interests of the children. If one or both of the parties has stock options, it takes special expertise to know how to go about valuing and dividing them.

Because of the complexity of the legal issues that arise, Family Law is not something a lawyer should "dabble" in. To do so leads to a very real likelihood that his or her client will be ill served. From the perspective of protecting yourself and your future, you owe it to yourself to engage the services of a lawyer who has the requisite experience and with whom you feel that you can work.

It is possible, with competent legal representation, for your divorce case to proceed smoothly and with little or no acrimony. It has been my experience that while there are some couples who are bound and determined to fight, most people, if given proper guidance, will be able to bring their hurt feelings under control and work through a divorce settlement to the advantage of everyone concerned. I doubt that you would try to give yourself a root canal or that many of you would attempt to rewire your home for electricity. Instead, realizing that you did not have the knowledge and expertise to do so, you would call on the endodontist for your root canal and you would get an electrician to rewire your house. Similarly, you proceed at your peril when you attempt to navigate a separation and divorce without the guidance of a qualified Family Lawyer.

In these tough economic times, you may wonder whether you can afford to retain a lawyer. It is my definite belief that you really cannot afford not to at least consult with a qualified Family Law attorney before you take any drastic steps such as moving out of the marital home.