Social Networking Can Leave You with Egg on Your Face - Or Worse!

Social networking is all the rage. However, people involved in divorce family law disputes need to give very serious thought about whether social networking is a good idea while thier case is on-going. My best advice to anyone involved in any type of family law litigation is to shutdown all of your social networking sites. This means no Face Book, My Space, Linked In and the like.

If the reasons are not apparent, then consider the following scenarios:

SCENARIO #1: Sally and Dick are separated and they are involved in a bitter child custody dispute. One of Sally’s best friends, Betty, assumes a new name, Ginger Smith, adopts as her photo that of Ginger off the old tv show Gilligan’s Island, and sets herself up on Face Book. Ginger then sends out a friend request to Dick who accepts the invitation. Ginger and Dick begin to exchange e-mails and during their correspondence, Dick makes numerous statements about his child rearing philosophy that will not look good for him in Court. Imagine Dick’s surprise when Sally and Dick’s lawyers exchange their witness lists immediately before trial and Dick sees that Ginger Smith is listed as one of Sally’s witnesses!

SCENARIO #2: Bill and Jennifer are involved in a custody dispute. Their son is 14 months old. Jennifer takes the child with her on a road trip to visit with her parents. On the morning of the trip, Jennifer takes a photo of the baby sitting in its car seat with three tall cans of beer arranged in the seat. Jennifer posts this photo on her social networking page with the caption The only way to take a read trip with a kid! Bill sees the posting and uses it at trial as evidence to bolster his contentions that Jennifer is an unfit parent.

SCENARIO #3: Jim and Joan are separated and Joan is under a court order to pay alimony to Jim. Joan files a motion with the court asking the court to reduce the amount of alimony she has to pay and in support of her motion, Joan says she has been laid off and has no job prospects in sight. Joan then posts a to her Twitter account and says she had a fabulous interview with XYZ, Corporation and has been offered a job. Jim sees the Twitter posting and introduces it as evidence at the hearing on Joan's motion to reduce her alimony payments.

Even though social networking can be fun, the risk that something you post will come back to haunt you is very real. Under the theory of better safe than sorry, I say, shut down the social networking if you are involved in a family law dispute.

POSSIBLE CHANGES IN N.C. LAW INVOLVING HEART BALM TORTS

On May 14, 2009, House Bill 1110 passed the North Carolina House of Representatives. The legislation is entitled An Act To Clarify Procedures In Civil Actions For Alienation of Affection And Criminal Conversation. Now the Bill will move to the North Carolina Senate for its consideration.

North Carolina is one of the few states in which an allegedly wronged spouse may sue an third party under the theories of alienation of affection and criminal conversation, and if successful obtain money damages.

To prove a claim for alienation of affections the Palintiff must show the following:

1. Plaintiff and his/her husband were happily married and a genuine love and affection existed between them; and
2. Their love and affection was alienated and destroyed; and
3. The wrongful and malicious acts of Defendant produced the alienation of affections.

To prove a claim for claim for criminal conversation, a Plaintiff must present evidence demonstrating:

1. The existence of a marriage between the him/herself and his/her spouse, and
2. Sexual intercourse between Defendant and Plaintiff’s spouse during the marriage of Plaintiff and his/her spouse which occurred in North Carolina.

At present, it does not matter whether the tortious acts occurred while the spouses were still living together or if the acts in question took place at some point after the spouses had separated.

It appears that the primary purpose of House Bill 1110 is to limit the applicability of these torts to acts occurring before the spouses separated. For the purpose of House Bill 1110, the word "separation" will be interpreted according to Chapter 50 of the North Carolina General Statutes. Chapter 50 is the portion of the North Carolina General Statutes in which the majority of family law statutes are codified.

Additionally, under House Bill 1110, only natural persons, as opposed to other entities such as corporations, will be subject to such lawsuits; and, finally, the statute of limitations for these heart-balm torts will be three years from the last act giving rise to the cause of action. In my opinion, the torts of alienation of affection and criminal conversation are out-dated and should be eliminated in their entirety. However, our legislature has been reluctant to do so. Therefore, House Bill 1110 seems to offer the next best alternative to outright abolishment. If you agree, please contact your Senator and let him or her know how you feel.

How Do I/We Tell The Children?

Frequently, my clients ask me for advice on the best way to tell their children that they are going to separate from their partner and that the separation is probably going to be permanent. Telling your children that you and their other parent can't live together anymore has got to be one of the most difficult tasks that you face once you have decided to leave the marriage/relationship. Despite the difficulty, telling the children about the upcoming separation in an appropriate way is a critical step toward helping them to cope effectively with this major life change. Ideally, you and your partner should both be a present for this conversation. However, if the two of you are concerned that you will be unable to resist the urge to blame each other or otherwise end up in an argument, it is better for each of you to speak with the children separately. Regardless of whether the two of you speak with the children jointly or separately, it is critical that you assure the children that they have done nothing to cause this separation and it is equally important that you resist the urge to blame the other parent for the separation. This link will take you a very helpful article which details Twelve tips for how to tell your children that you and your partner have decided to separate and divorce. The author of the article is Dr. Rafael Richmond, Ph.D.